System Status

Kevin's mom's router experienced a "thermal event" (it caught fire). Root cause analysis determined the issue was "too many browser tabs." Services were restored after Kevin's mom drove to Best Buy and purchased a new router. Downtime: 3 days. Kevin is grounded.

Our primary database (a Google Sheet titled "club stuff DO NOT DELETE") was deleted by an unknown party. All 7 rows of data were lost. The intern claims it wasn't them. It was them. Data was restored from a screenshot someone took for a meme.

At 4:47 PM on a Friday, the intern pushed directly to main. The website displayed only the word "undefined" for the entire weekend. Nobody noticed until Monday because nobody visits the website. The intern has had their GitHub permissions revoked. They never had proper permissions to begin with — we still don't know how they pushed.

All styles disappeared from the website with no code changes. After 3 hours of debugging, we discovered Kevin had accidentally enabled "Reader Mode" in his browser and thought the site was broken. The actual CSS bug we introduced while trying to fix the non-bug remains unresolved.

Critical failure in the pizza delivery pipeline during our weekly standup (Wednesday meeting). Domino's delivered pepperoni instead of cheese. Two members threatened to fork the club. Crisis was averted by ordering a second pizza. Budget impact: $12.99.